


To deduce or not to deduce

by Batik



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-21
Updated: 2012-12-21
Packaged: 2017-11-21 22:45:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/602908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batik/pseuds/Batik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John is determined to be surprised about his Christmas gifts, Sherlock is impatient and John has a plan — or two.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To deduce or not to deduce

**Author's Note:**

  * For [8bitbadguy](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=8bitbadguy).



> This is my SherlockSecretSanta gift for [8bitbadguy](http://8bitbadguy.tumblr.com/)  
> , who requested platonic Sherlock and John having fun. (Well, I think John found it fun. There may have been a few moments when Sherlock wasn't bored. At least there's that.) I hope you enjoy it!

“Go on, John. Guess.”

“No, Sherlock. Just … no.”

John ducked his head and went back to wrapping Harry’s Christmas present, attempting to ignore his (sometimes rather juvenile) flatmate, even though Sherlock was doing his best to make himself look even taller, looming over John like a viciously friendly vulture.

“Why?” Sherlock asked, not at all cowed by the look John shot him from under his eyebrows. “If you’re afraid you’ll be wrong, I …”

“No, Sherlock,” John interrupted. “It’s not that I’m afraid I’ll be wrong. But it’s a Christmas present. Part of the fun is in the surprise. Yes, if I guess incorrectly, you’ll mock me. But, if I guess correctly, I’ll know what my present is and Christmas won’t be as fun.”

“John, I wouldn’t mock you,” Sherlock said, looking for all the world like John imagined he did when he was 5 and pouty. “It would be unnecessary anyway. You’re so much more interesting than most people could ever hope to be. I have no doubt you’d get it right … eventually. And I’d let you have multiple goes.”

John had had a lot of practice at taking backhanded compliments. He fielded Sherlock’s comments as the high praise they actually were and hunkered down to add a piece of Sellotape to the wrapping paper around Harry’s jumper. (It wasn’t what Harry had asked for, but Harry had asked for vodka, and John preferred aiding his sister’s sobriety to pleasing her drunken whims.)

“Look, Sherlock. I appreciate your faith in my deductive abilities,” John sighed. “I really do. But the bottom line is, I don’t want to deduce my present. You could have handed it to me unwrapped, asked me to wrap it and put my own name on the tag, and I would have done it without peeking inside the box to see what it is.

“Not peeking — and not guessing — is the proper thing to do.”

“Proper is boring,” Sherlock pouted.

“Speaking of guessing, I assume you’ve figured out which box your present is in?” John asked, hoping to change the subject, if only slightly. His attempt at distraction worked.

Sherlock looked over to the pile of boxes under the Christmas tree, taking in the assortment of shapes and sizes and the variety of wrapping papers. Before he’d had a chance to get close to them, John and Mrs. Hudson had made him promise not to touch — let alone pick up — even one of them. That left Sherlock to deduce what he could from appearances alone. While that still left quite a lot for him to work with, his faith in John’s ability to constantly surprise him meant he wasn’t completely sure of every item in every box.

“Well, the one with the reindeer wrapping obviously is socks — socks with polka dots that you picked out specifically to make me rework my entire sock index,” Sherlock said.

John stifled a grin and shrugged, not bothering to deny the accuracy of the sock deduction or the possibility that more than one box contained gifts. There were some empty containers, too, just to serve as decoys.

“Well, it’ll give you something to do aside from being bored the next time we’re between cases,” he said, reaching for a bag and beginning the wrapping process all over again. “What else?”

“The one that’s barrel-shaped obviously is your attempt to recycle the container from the tub of gourmet pretzels the German ambassador sent us after the Oktoberfest case,” Sherlock replied, looking thoughtfully at the round gift. “While I’m impressed by your skill at wrapping something cylindrical, your attempt failed to lead me away from the conclusion that it now contains chocolate biscuits.”

“They’re not the most nutritious food around, but you’ll eat them, and sometimes that’s what matters,” John said, knowing full well he was confirming yet another of Sherlock’s deductions.

“And the one in the snowman paper — the one shaped like an hourglass — is your failed attempt to disguise two CDs of classical music by taping them to opposite ends of some cone-shaped cardboard,” Sherlock said, tossing an arrogant grin over his shoulder at John.

“Close,” John said, tucking in a corner of wrapping paper and reaching for another piece of tape. “But wrong.”

Sherlock gave the package in question another look and thought for a moment before his face lit up.

“Oh, even more clever, John,” he said. “The CDs are just CD cases. Placeholders for the mp3 gift cards you have tucked away in your room. Very good!”

John’s smile was genuine as he took in Sherlock’s straightforward praise, sensing nothing mocking about the words.

His smile was genuine for another reason, too — the look of surprise on Sherlock’s face as John finished tying a wine-colored bow on the gift wrapped in cream-colored paper and handed the package to Sherlock.

“Who is this for and what am I supposed to do with it?” Sherlock asked. “You banned me from getting near the tree. You even stopped in the middle of writing your blog entry the other day to trim the twigs I needed for my pine sap experiment — just to keep me away.”

“It’s for you, you great git,” John said. “I’ve given up on trying to surprise you with any present you’ve had more than 5 seconds to think about. This time, I’m taking my joy in knowing I wrapped it, right under your nose, as we talked — and I’m guessing you still don’t know what it is. At least not yet. If you open it quickly enough, you might still be surprised.”

Sherlock looked at the package he now held in his hands and then looked at John.

“But Christmas is still two days away.”

“Yes,” John said. “Are you saying you want to wait then?”

“No.” Sherlock spoke up so quickly that a longer answer might have sprained his quicksilver tongue. “No, we don’t have to wait.”

“Go ahead, then,” John said. “Open it.”

Sherlock eyed the present like a child for whom Christmas had come early. (All right, technically, it had come early, and Sherlock definitely has his childlike moments.) He then carefully removed the bow and set it safely aside before shredding the wrapping in one swipe of a hand.

Seconds later, Sherlock was staring down at an image of a long-horned sheep’s skull as it magnificently graced the cover of a book titled simply “Skulls.”

Sherlock stared at it for another moment and briefly flipped through the pages, noting a different type of skull on each page. Then he looked at John.

“You’re brilliant, John,” Sherlock said. “Thank you.”

“Well, I was hoping you’d enjoy the variety of information in it,” John said. “If not, I figured you could amuse yourself by editing any incorrect bits and sending it back to the author.”

“Hmmm, another good idea,” Sherlock said. “The quality of the photography leads me to surmise that the information is accurate, but it’s good to have a Plan B.”

Sherlock looked at the book for another moment before placing it on the table and picking up the small box he had put there when he began to inspect the presents under the tree.

“Now you,” he said, holding the gift toward John.

“Nope,” John said. “It’s still not Christmas.”

Sherlock was about to protest when his mobile sounded a text alert.

“Saved by a case, John,” he said, his thumbs already flying in response to Lestrade’s call for help as he headed for the door and his coat.

John grinned, set down the tape and began his own text message as he moved to follow Sherlock:

Thanks, Greg.  
Perfect timing! — JW

**Author's Note:**

> I'll now mention my relief at finally realizing I didn't have to put Sherlock and John in an "Assassin's Creed" plot for 8bitbadguy! (Different wish lists for different fandoms. Whew!) Though that might make an awesome story, if a braver soul would like to try it.
> 
> As always, thanks to [Nichellen](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Nichellen)  
> for Beta-ing and Brit-picking.


End file.
